I’m a doer”
I heard this within a group of amazing women. They were saying it in relation to why they hadn’t had a coach or hadn’t really benefited from having a coach. If I had been walking, it would have made me stop in my tracks because it’s me and why I put off hiring a coach for so long. I bought the books, watched the videos, listened to the podcasts, took the trainings and figured a lot of it out myself. Whether it was a skill I needed for my career or when it came to personal development. Hundreds of thousands of people have written about their experiences and best practices and “how to” do millions of things. Why would I need to pay for help, for a coach? Doesn’t that mean I’m just not motivated enough or not smart enough to do it on my own?
The first time I hired my coach I struggled with this. The difference was, for whatever reason, I was acutely aware that I would not be completely objective on my own. I was burnt out at work and wanted to do the work to find out what I wanted to do with my life. I wasn’t 100% positive that it would be outside what I was doing now, but I had an inkling that it might. I’d experienced a more mild version of this feeling at other times in my life. At those times, I had “done” it myself. I’d upped my meditation, my self care and done some worksheets and experimentation into what else I might like to do. At the “end” of each of those situations or periods, I chose to stay where I was, in finance at my existing employer. In hindsight, I basically did the work until I felt better, either because the self care and/or my situation at work improved enough. It improved enough that the fire was out. This curiosity about what I could do with my life was no longer a burning urgency and so it fell to the background. At this point in time, I was now of a certain age and really felt that I was not getting younger. I did not want to be “here” again and my solution to stopping that cycle was to hire a coach.
The second time I hired my coach I struggled with this even more. Even though I now knew the magic of coaching, especially since I’d become one, I was in a different financial place. I was building my business. I had been building it without her, while in my coaches training program, would she help? She’s not a business coach or a marketing coach, would I benefit from that instead? Would I get enough benefit to justify the cost? I was in crisis mode before, should I save the money for the next crisis?
Then, there’s this data: People who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. People who verbally commit to their goals in front of someone are 65% more likely to achieve them. People who repeatedly work with accountability partners are 85% more likely to achieve them.
Most people would probably look at that, perhaps even many “doers” would look at it and say “I’m good.” I saw that data and immediately recognized the opportunity for goals not even pursued or given life to. As a coach, I like seeing what people achieve as I hold them accountable. I LOVE seeing them achieve what they hadn’t even considered pursuing, whether in life or work. These are goals that they wouldn’t have gone after, if we weren’t working together. It has ranged from traveling alone to starting their own business. My coach helps me keep center, those things that would otherwise be in my peripheral vision. That’s what I do for my clients, that’s what I love to do for them.
Related to this, in a coaching group I’m in, we create and share project plans. Slowly, some of us start to realize that we’re not using our project plan, but we are moving the project forward. Why? Well, in this particular case, it’s because we’ve created a project plan for something we are reliable and predictable to achieve. Our project plan isn’t “big” enough…it’s not “impossible” enough…it’s not “stretch” enough…that we actually need the project plan to keep us on track, to clearly indicate when we’re not where we said we would be.
And so, initially it felt weird. When I heard these women shying away from support because they are “doers” it made me sad. At first, I didn’t know why I was sad. Now, I realize I was sad, because they have so much untapped potential and probably some untapped desires. When I thought about how the world could benefit from allll they could do with support…I was sad it might not happen.
If you are a doer (like me)….when was the last time you took on going after a project/goal/result so big/stretchy/seemingly impossible that you needed a plan? Disagree with me? Curious about your untapped “doer” potential? Let’s chat! DM me to set up time!