I want to talk about hard conversations we have with people.
When you read this, where did your mind immediately go? Did you imagine delivering bad news? Letting someone go? Telling someone how they’ve hurt us? Knowing you would hurt someone else’s feelings?
I assert that while these are uncomfortable conversations, these actually aren’t the most difficult conversations for us to have. It’s easy natural for a lot of us to step in and be a part of these conversations, even if we have to muddle our way through them.
Two of my core qualities are devotion and radiance. Mix these with the fact that I have done and been through hard things and it’s no surprise I can be counted on for some really good helping out when times are hard. Instinctively, I get down & dirty with you in whatever it is you’re going through and reflect your light, power, talent, grit & success record back to you when you can’t see it.
Your boyfriend broke up with you? I’ll rub your back and provide the tissues while reminding you all that you brought to the relationship, all that you bring to all your relationships, what a wonderful person you are, how many other people think you’re sexy, etc.
You didn’t get that promotion you wanted? I will listen while you vent, remind you of all your supporters, your reputation, all the promotions you have gotten, all while helping you strategize your next step.
I believe most of you would show up in a similar way with someone having a hard time or struggling. It’s a natural reaction.
So, what are the difficult conversations? They are the ones you probably don’t even think of having.
When your friend tells you they met the love of their life, do you ask them what they’ll take on to make it even more amazing?
When you hear about a promotion, do you ask them what one thing would make this new adventure even better? Do you ask them about their plan to leverage this into what they really want?
When someone talks about how great things are, do you stand for them to be even greater? Not in a, never-be-satisfied way, but in a you-can-have-anything-you-want way? Do you shine the light on their even greater power or brighter light, when it’s already shining?
It’s often easier to remind people of their greatness when they’re having a hard time seeing it, than to try to show them their greatness when they’re standing in something good. Is that doing them a disservice? Allowing them to rest on their laurels without considering what they want?
This is what a coach does. We see you standing in a bright room and we ask you, “what now?” Your answer could totally be “nothing.” But we ask it when others don’t. Would you benefit from being asked that? Is there someone you know who would benefit from you asking it? What are you waiting for? I’d be happy to ask it, but you don’t HAVE to be a coach to ask it…