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The Power of Vulnerability: Why Asking for Help is Important Even if You Don't Get It

Asking for help.


This is not your typical post.


I am not going to tell you about that AMAZING time where I finally got up the courage to ask for help or what I wanted and everything turned out like sunshine and rainbows. That the person was over the moon to show up for me.


I’m not going to share this story with you and end it with the quote “you can’t get what you want if you don’t ask.”


Last week, I asked for help.

It took me all week to build up the courage to ask for it. To remind myself that I wasn’t weak for asking for it. That asking for help didn’t mean I was overwhelmed or a terrible person. I REALLY hated asking for help.


But I did it.




I didn’t get the help I needed. The person I asked didn’t have the capacity to help. Not that they didn’t want to, but they just couldn’t. They were not over the moon to support me and it did not end in sunshine and rainbows.


At first, I was soo…disappointed. And pissed. I was heart broken. I was questioning whether or not I should have even asked for it. I started feeling alone. I was mad at them and myself for wanting or hoping for help.


I was making it mean soooo much.

About them.

About me.


And then.


I remembered how much courage I had to muster to ask for help.

I remembered that, before I asked, I KNEW asking for help didn’t mean that I was weak or a bad person.

I reminded myself that, while not exactly what I wanted, it actually was the practice I needed. I needed the reinforcement that I CAN/SHOULD/MUST ask for help or what I want, because people will stay true to themselves and won’t say “yes” when they really mean or want to say “no”. I can trust people to not let me inconvenience them.




Maybe next time, I should ask for help sooner, before I’m really desperate for it. That way, by the time they have the capacity to help, it’ll be “perfect” timing.


So maybe I am going to end this post with, “you can’t get what you want if you don’t ask.” I’ll just add: even if you don’t get it, you won’t die and you will learn from it. Remember, asking for help is the practice, not necessarily getting it.


If asking for help is something you also struggle with, let’s connect! What would life be like if you didn’t struggle with it? Or, whether or not you struggled with it, you STILL asked for it?


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