When Success Felt Like a Threat

How I finally broke the belief that my joy came at a cost

For most of my life, I’ve struggled with a scarcity mindset.

Not just about money or time—but something deeper.

A belief that my success came at a cost to others.

That if something good happened to me, something bad would happen to someone I love.

It started young. When I went to an all-day event for prospective students at my dream university, full of possibility and excitement, someone close to me attempted suicide. When I was pledging a sorority of women I connected with, my mom got sick. When I moved to work internationally, my dad's second wife got really sick as well. When I left corporate and finally started the business I’d dreamed of, someone very close to me was fired in a painful, devastating way. When my business began to thrive, my beloved dog died. When I married the love of my life and moved to California—a lifelong desire—I experienced an unexpected miscarriage, full of grief and loneliness.

Even though I logically knew this belief couldn’t be accurate—logically—I couldn’t shake it. While I've made progress on this limiting belief with my therapist and coaches over the years, deep down, I still feared that my joy came with a price tag.

Until the other day.

I was doing a guided meditation with one of my mentors, Gabby Bernstein, who invited me to write down my most limiting belief and list all the “evidence.” Then, the instruction was to burn it.

So I did.

I wrote it all out—every success, every painful moment that seemed to follow. And in the writing, I finally saw it clearly: these events were not connected. I was the one connecting them. My mind had strung them together to make sense of pain I couldn’t control.

Since settling in California, I’ve had additional fertility losses. And in an odd, grounded way, it helped cement the truth:

Hard things will happen. But they’re not a punishment for success. They’re just… life.

There was such freedom in that realization.

Such relief.

Such permission to let go of the belief that good things invite bad things.

And with that, permission to succeed as much as I want.

Without fear.

Without guilt.

Without shrinking.

I share this to give you hope that you too can break through that deep-rooted, limiting belief. And...it may not happen as fast as you want it too. Additionally, I believe alllllllllI the work I did leading up to this day, is what helped me experience this breakthrough. If I hadn't had those conversations with my therapist and coaches, or journaled about it MULTIPLE times, I don't believe this exercise would have had the impact it had. And of course, I also share this in hopes that it prompts something for you, maybe even helps you shift that belief you know isn't true, but still feel as though it is.

Reflection Prompt:

Take a moment to ask yourself:

What belief have I been carrying that might not be true?

One that logic can’t undo… but truth can.

Write it down. Name it. Track the “evidence.”

Then look closer: Are these things really connected—or have you been protecting yourself with a story that’s no longer serving you?

Of course, I'm here if you want support working through this. Click to schedule a free coaching session with me. What would life be like if you could stop limiting yourself with this belief? Honestly, I had a hard time imagining what would be possible, but I knew it would be good. I know it'll be good for you too.