Rest Isn’t Earned — It’s Essential (And That Realization Changed Everything)

I’ve been trying to “sleep in” recently. And by “sleep in,” I mean I don’t get out of bed at 5am when the alarm goes off. Sleeping until 6:30 or 6:45am feels downright luxurious.

The backstory? I’ve been a terrible sleeper for most of my life.

As a kid, I used to sneak-read at night under the covers by the glow of my Fisher Price flashlight. (It had green, red, and white settings — and yes, I used them all.) I didn’t want to stop reading. I didn’t want to stop doing.

That pattern didn’t really change. For decades, I struggled with falling asleep, staying asleep, and letting myself rest. It wasn’t until I moved in with my now-husband — who gently but firmly pointed out how wild my sleep habits were — that things started to shift.

Eventually, I reached a point where it only took me 60 to 90 minutes to fall asleep, and I could stay asleep until the alarm went off. I considered that a huge win.

But recently, my doctor was shocked when I described those as my improved sleep habits. So, with some real talk and medical advice behind me, I’ve been making an effort to take my sleep — and my rest — more seriously.

And that brings us to the moment that cracked something open.

I told a friend I’d slept in, and she replied: “I’m sure it was well deserved.”

It was a kind, loving comment — and it still stopped me in my tracks.

Why?

Because of what was underneath it. The unspoken assumption that rest has to be earned — justified, validated, deserved.

I didn’t respond out loud(because I could hear her love in her words), but my inner voice got louder: “It doesn’t have to be well deserved. It was well needed.”

That sentence — it was well needed — felt like a powerful truth I didn’t realize I’d been waiting to believe.

And I know I’m not alone.

So many of the high-achieving, brilliant, servant-hearted women I work with are running on empty — not just because they do too much, but because they believe they have to earn their way to rest. Only when everything is done. Only when the guilt quiets down. Only when someone else says it’s okay.

This is how we burn out. This is how we abandon our own needs. This is how we get resentful, depleted, and disconnected from our power.

But what if rest wasn’t a reward for performance? What if it was part of the foundation for sustainable success?

What if your needs didn’t require permission or justification?

Here’s what I’ve learned (and what I help my clients remember):When you stop earning rest and start honoring your needs, everything changes. You show up more clearly. You set boundaries that serve you. You rebuild your relationship with your energy, your intuition, your body.

✨ If this resonates — if you're craving a version of your life that doesn’t require you to be exhausted to prove your worth — I’d love to talk.

You can book a free call here: free coaching session or consultation (where we flesh out specifically how coaching can support YOU)

Let’s explore what becomes possible when rest is no longer a luxury — but a leadership practice.

#selflove #alignment #bebrave #coaching #leadership