See the forest for the trees, but don’t devalue the trees.
One of my superpowers involves the ability to get elevation to see similarities and connections all over the place. I can see how systems, people work together, how they are similar and different, how they can better work together, how each can benefit from the other. I can see how process/person A over here can be applied over there to create efficiencies and more magic.
One downfall to this, is how it causes me to dismiss what I’m going through, because I can so easily see how much everyone else is going through. What did it matter how unhappy or satisfied I am? I can see that everyone is struggling with this. What does it matter how tired I am? I can see how exhausted everyone is. What does it matter how unexcited about work I am? Everyone struggles with this from time to time. Who am I to complain about how mad I am about being under utilized? Everywhere I turn people feel that way. Who am I to complain about the hours I work? Everyone is struggling with the hours they’re working.
Deny, deny, deny.
Bury, bury, bury.
Or, in reality….
Delay, delay, delay.
I thought I was burying it or tossing it back in the “trash can” of the mind. I thought the fact that I was pushing through it, meant that all was good, that I DIDN’T feel that way. I thought operating over it was success.
And then, when I burst into tears after a run, was short with a direct report, yelled at the dog or flicked off a fellow driver for nada…I was confused and aghast. When I couldn’t get excited about a friend’s birthday party, plan a vacation or laugh at my favorite TV show…again, confusion. I had no idea where these reactions came from. Everything was grand, normal.
Of course, now I can see the connection clear as day. I can see how my superpower was actually hurting me. I can see that, even if my struggle is not unique, it doesn’t mean I don’t benefit from acknowledging it, that my struggle is valid.
Feelings don’t just go away because we pave over them. In fact, they typically grow and fester in the dark. Most of them need to be processed, or at least acknowledged, before they can fly on their way.
Everyone else feels unmotivated? Doesn’t make you a bad person to want it to change.
Burn out everywhere you look? Doesn’t make you evil to want to stop it.
Everyone wish they worked less hours? Don’t let that stop you from acknowledging what you need and cutting back.
As Ghandi says, “be the change”. I wish, instead of normalizing my suffering, denying and delaying it, I had taken on change to inspire others to do so. (Yep, that’s my life NOW; could’ve been sooner!) What if you’re the one? The one to remind people it can be different?
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