I was once asked “Where do you say no in life?”
Me? Nowhere. I mean, I jump out of planes and off buildings, I go on 14 mile hikes during vacation. I’ve traveled alone and lived internationally. There aren’t many things I’ll say no to, when asked.
But would people describe me as a “yes” person?
So I asked myself, “Where do you not say yes?”
If people call and I don’t answer the phone.
If people text and I don’t respond in a reasonable time.
If I go to a meeting and don’t express myself.
When my boyfriend signed up for co-op veggies, I happily went along but didn’t explicitly say yes.
Well…now we’re on to something…
When I don’t make time to meditate, do yoga, sit down to write, walk Leo at lunch, choose to read, decide to host a workshop, don’t send emails, deciding where to eat, creating a reel or social media post, canceling meetings, by not actively asking my friends to hang out.
I don’t know how this looks to you, but to me, it looks ridiculous! How could I not see how full of “no” my life can be on some days?! WTF? Seriously?
Well. You see, because I don’t say “no” very often, my lack of “yes” was in my blindspot. Even though I logically & intellectually know, that by not doing these things I am saying “no” to them, for better or worse, it didn’t feel as ridiculous when I was viewing them through my old lens of “just not prioritizing them.”
Proving, yet again, it’s all about our lens & the question we ask.
I have shifted. I’m not perfect but I’m in progress. And I started by asking myself, what would my day be like if I actually said “yes” more? What does my real “yes” look like? How could I show up as a “yes”?
I’m curious, is there anything here for you? If you listed out where you don’t say “no” or “yes,” what would you see? Is that what you want?